Dealing with Mean Comments Online

If you’ve been on social media for more than a few weeks and posting consistently, chances are you’ve had your share of hateful or negative comments! I know I have. I’ve been called all sorts of names, mocked, and blocked. Heck, when I first started blogging, there was an entire post dedicated to trashing me on a website that constantly bashed fashion bloggers. (You can hear more about that on the podcast this week!)

People can be really awful sometimes! But don’t let it get to you! 

First, I think it’s important to determine whether it’s negative feedback or a truly mean comment.

If someone had a really bad experience with your business (which you know isn’t made-up), and posted about it on social media, that’s not a mean comment. If someone in the comments section has constructive criticism about your content, that’s not a mean comment. If someone has a well-intentioned question about the religious, social, political or cultural beliefs you’ve chosen to share, that’s (you guessed it) not a mean comment. 

These are all examples of negative feedback  - and that’s something you could use to your advantage! 

When it’s constructive, negative feedback gives you the chance to showcase your compassion and ingenuity to the rest of your followers. Respond with an explanation, a solution, or even some gratitude for the feedback you received. If it’s a common question or complaint, you could post a formal response in your stories or turn it into a future post. 

Other comments are just mean - plain and simple. They aren’t constructive, well-intentioned, or even based on reality. Often they attack your character or personality, and at times they may even come from someone you don’t know at all! 

What do you do with these comments? 

• Delete them! You don’t need to give them one second of your time or attention. 

• Message them. If you’re feeling up for a heartful, open conversation based on the comment, go ahead and message them to see if they are open for dialogue. Do not do this to get even, to get back, to pick a fight, or to prove a point. We dialogue to understand, not to change minds. 

• Report them - if needed. It should go without saying that you should always report any threats to your physical safety.

• Forget them! Even after deleting it, a mean comment can easily ruin your day or your whole week. If there isn’t something you can learn from the comment left behind, there is no need to let it take up your mental space. 

Regulating our emotions isn’t always easy. These comments used to spin in my head for days. 

Now I pause and ask myself, is the comment true? 

After mentally acknowledging that it is not, I ask if there is something I can learn from this comment.

If yes, I try and separate the lesson from the hurt and grow from that.

If no, I ask one final question: what is the truth? The answer to that is what I focus on. 

Bottomline: use negative feedback and fuel to improve, and ignore the negative comments.